070115i-Legal-Seafoods-hot-dogsIf you’ve been looking for a place to buy a $5 hot dog, why not go to your local seafood specialist?

Because, no kidding, Legal Sea Foods in Harvard Square has five varieties of hot dogs for sale throughout July at its outdoor Terrace Bar, temporarily rebranded as part of its “Endless Summer” promotion to be an “All American Hot Dog Bar.”

Each costs $5, and for some reason Legal Seafood is letting the math-impaired know that they can buy a “three-dog sampler board” for $15. (It’s safe to assume two hot dogs can be bought for $10, etc.)

Legal justifies the July hot dog specials by noting these are the dog days (groan) of summer; but in June the Charles Square site offered an all-you-can-eat Haddock fish fry; in August, it’ll be a “Souped-Up Gazpacho Bar,” with a better sampler deal than the hot dogs – a cup for $6 or a three-gazpacho sampler for $15 – and four kinds to try (tomato with vegetables and tortilla strips; cucumber with greek yogurt and avocado; cantaloupe with crème fraiche and extra-virgin olive oil; and almonds with sherry vinegar and grapes) and seven toppings for $3 each (sweet Maine crab meat; pickled Texas shrimp; squid escabeche; saffron-poached mussels; cajun flaked salmon; pickled papaya; and mango salsa).

The semi-poetically, semi-coherently named hot dogs for sale this month are:

bullet-gray-small Sonora “Bacon Wrapped a la Plancha” with grilled onions, tomatoes and jalapeño relish.

bullet-gray-small Chicago Vienna Beef Dog “Dragged Through the Garden” with tomato wedge, piccalilli, pepperoncini, dill pickle and mustard.

bullet-gray-small New Jersey Thuman’s Dog “Ripper Style” with crispy fried “rutts style” relish on a steamed bun. (If you’re wondering what “rutts style” is, you’re not the only one. There’s literally no explanation offered by Legal or throughout the entire Internet; the only hits Google finds are reprints of Legal’s own press release about these hot dogs. But the very concept of crispy fried relish – could this be a typo? – might be enough to justify a visit to the All American Hot Dog Bar.)

bullet-gray-small N.Y. Sabrett All-Beef Hot Dog with sauerkraut, sweet onions in tomato and brown mustard.

bullet-gray-small Rhode Island Little Rhody Brand “Hot Weiner” with diced onions, meat sauce and yellow mustard on a steamed bun.

Update on July 1, 2015: Somerville media manager Dann DeMaina has an answer about rutts – or, as the English-speaking world knows it, Rutt’s:

https://twitter.com/DannDeMaina/status/616246343443574784

The Rutt’s Hut restaurant in Clifton, N.J., deep fries its wieners, causing them to crack and split, and serves them on plain white hot dog roll with “its own in-house relish as a condiment, made from cabbage, carrot and onion, with a mustard base,” according to Cook’s Info.