Thursday, May 23, 2024
Images from archives.

Images from archives.

There are 300 million people spending a collective 8 billion minutes a day on Facebook, the company said today, and among all that social networking it’s inevitable there will be some pretty lame stuff. You can find it collected at

Look through 50 or so pages of Lamebook archives and trends emerge, including atrocious spelling (some of it on purpose), oversharing (defecation and gastrointestinal distress is a popular theme), tediously anguished love and the celebration of heavy weaponry and the slaughter of animals for sport.

Now, the reference to those last two items may seem a little judgmental, but the gulf between the posters of gun-celebration content and the Lamebook crowd is sort of the point. That the celebration is so vital to some is exactly why it is incomprehensible to others.

In one image, a bride and groom enhance a wedding portrait by each wielding intimidating firearms — heavy, black semiautomatic or automatic rifles. A note from the bride explains that the same image was used on the couple’s Christmas cards. In another, a cake is elaborately frosted to include a nearly three-dimensional image of a deer — with discreetly bleeding gunshot wounds in its side. The poster, Tiffany, has identified the photo as being from the album labeled “Renewing our wedding vows.”

What do guns and bleeding deer have to do with marriage or weddings? To many of us, absolutely nothing. For others, it’s never a bad time for a little fetishizing of the Second Amendment. Sadly, this is the cultural version of the guy who ignores the obvious boredom of others to tell a story in which he stars or against something that drives him crazy, or the true believers who turn every conversation into a sales pitch for whatever has their attention at the moment — Scientology, yoga, parenthood, Amway. The liberal equivalent might be to hang a banner bearing a vegan slogan at a wedding reception, or passing out brochures on Falun Gong as mom and dad renew their marriage vows. And such things must happen somewhere, although Lamebook doesn’t happen to be overloaded with examples.

People are proud of their guns and gun rights, and protective of them, and they show off the goods as reinforcement, yes, but also as boast. “I’m hardcore,” is the message. “So hardcore this somehow isn’t a non sequitur.”

Ah, but it is. And even if a husband and wife relish their time hunting together, surely there must be a watcher in a reception hall somewhere gaping at a cake and thinking, “What the hell does a bleeding deer have to do with a renewal of wedding vows?”

That’s how things get posted on Lamebook.