Just in time for Christmas, there’s a song for that special person you hate so much
If you’re gritting your teeth through what you see as the relentless, forced cheer of the holiday season, boozy sex kitten and singer Niki Luparelli has the song for you: “Why Don’t You Go F*&% Yourself This Christmas?”
The song, posted by Luparelli on Sunday along with the latest in her “Boozy News” video series (in this 13th episode she has a blood alcohol content of 0.14 and is hosting a holiday party with “Laugh-In”-style cutaways), has all the chipper bile you could want in what’s sure to become a holiday classic.
“I’ve had my Christmas white, I’ve had my Christmas blue, but this year when I’m seeing red it’s all because of you,” Luparelli purrs in the calm before a rockin’ holiday hurricane of curses. “There won’t be any toys for you on Santa’s sled, so please accept my heartfelt Christmas wish for you instead … why don’t you go fuck yourself this Christmas?”
From there the song kicks into high gear and Luparelli belts out the invective with cheerful, swinging piano accompaniment by Dan Burke.
“So far, everyone has been hugely positive about it despite its asshole message,” Luparelli said of the song Monday, after returning home from singing more traditional Christmas songs at a nursing home.
She only began work on the song Dec. 17, she said.
“I just kind of came up with the title. Then I googled it to see if anyone had ever done it before. No one had. I posted on my Facebook kind of kiddingly that I was writing a song with that title,” she said. “It got so many likes, I figured I’d better actually write it.”
Luparelli performed a tribute to David Bowie with burlesque in November at Oberon in Harvard Square; she’s due back with her band the Gold Diggers on Jan. 24 with a tribute to Madonna and Prince.