When we meet Ruth Goldman (Broadway veteran Kathleen Chalfant), she’s making lunch. She puts some bread in the toaster, waits for it to pop, then serenely places a slice of toast in the dish rack. She’s joined by a younger man, Steve (“Bob’s Burgers” voice actor H. Jon Benjamin, in a rare dramatic turn), for what appears to be a blind date. Ruth is confident, funny and flirtatious; Steve seems awkward, distant and a little sad. We soon learn why: Ruth suffers from dementia, Steve is her son, and this is her last meal at home before he brings her to an assisted living facility.
“Familiar Touch,” from first-time director Sarah Friedland, is perhaps the least histrionic film ever made about old age and memory loss. It’s sad, of course, but there’s little of the melodrama that often defines the subject on film. Friedland shoots with an even, nonjudgmental keel, with long, quiet takes to present Ruth’s new home as matter-of-factly as possible. This is not a prison, nor are we given unrealistic expectations of some spiritual “cure” to snap its residents out of their cognitive decline. This is simply a new situation that Ruth – and, eventually, millions of Americans- – will have to learn to accept.
Much of the film’s success is thanks to Chalfant, who delivers one of the most extraordinary performances of the year. When Ruth speaks, she is often so confident and articulate that we can see her as she sees herself, even when it’s clear from her surroundings that she’s deeply confused. Chalfant communicates, with a near-imperceptible shift in her features, the moment she loses the thread, and the effect is quietly devastating. We can sense what a force Ruth must have been in her prime, making her obvious decline all the more heartbreaking.
But, again, this isn’t a film of denial, but acceptance. Ruth is treated with kindness and understanding by the staff of her facility (many of whom are playing themselves, as are most of the residents). Later, in a bittersweet last dance with Steve, we can sense that she still intuits her love for her son, even as she doesn’t quite remember who he is to her. “Familiar Touch” will hit many viewers close to home and will for others serve as vital preparation for hard days to come – an honest, warmhearted gem.
Star H. Jon Benjamin will be in attendance for the 6 p.m. Friday show at The Brattle Theatre, 40 Brattle St., Harvard Square, Cambridge.
Oscar Goff is a writer and film critic based in Somerville. He is film editor and senior critic for the Boston Hassle and his work has appeared in the monthly Boston Compass newspaper and publications such as WBUR’s The ARTery and iHeartNoise. He is a member of the Boston Society of Film Critics, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, and the Online Film Critics Society.
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